December Blue Moon

High on my list of achievements in 2009 is the completion of my CD, “Honestly“. Not only is it a new genre, (singer/songwriter with a splash of folk and dab of country), it follows an intimate journey of my life over the past few years laid bare for the world to hear. The coming months will involve the exploitation – otherwise known as marketing – of my life, which is somewhat unnerving.

Susan Boyle took a huge chance when she stepped onto the stage of Britain’s Got Talent. I was among the millions of people who watched the YouTube segment of “I Dreamed a Dream” and was overwhelmed with the shear beauty of her performance. She had everything to loose, but when she shared her gift we took notice. Every once in a while it happens – someone finds the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Sometimes I get stuck inside construed boundaries and allow expectations I have for my life to get cemented under their walls. Standing still is not the answer. The mortar has not hardened. Not only can I rearrange the bricks, I can redesign the wall to include a new opening – a different vantage point. I know anything is possible, and sometimes all that is required is a shift in my attitude.

Today as I look forward to 2010 and beyond, I do so with hope. Tonight I will look to the sky, beyond the clouds, and count all the lucky stars that celebrate with me and this rare December moon.

Happy New Year.

Icicles (photo by Noella Cotnam)

Last year at this time we were just getting our electricity back after an ice storm blackout that lasted eight days. This was the second catastrophic ice-storm I’ve experienced, so I was somewhat ready for the mayhem that ensued, but really, it’s hard to be ‘that’ prepared. Thankfully the kindness of friends and strangers abounded. We were able to find a hot shower, a hot meal, and even internet access within a short driving distance.

I have to say that the ambiance of candlelight and the radiance of a fireplace really were a wonderful prelude to Christmas. ‘All is calm’, albeit not so bright when everyday conveniences were unavailable. It gave new definition to the saying, “let’s make the best of it”.

When I was a youngster our family hosted big family dinners at Christmas. I’m sure all of these gatherings were special, but one really stands out in my mind: it was the year the power went out in the neighbourhood. The turkey had been cooked earlier in the day, but the trimmings were only half done when the house went black. As barbecues and Coleman stoves were being set up, candles were lit, and cousins, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles gathered in the family room. It was then that a lowly guitar player strummed out the chords and everyone sang carols together. We were connected and engaged in a way we never had been before. It was special – memorable.

Anytime we are pushed out of the ordinary, there resides the possibility of the extraordinary. Whether it’s a blackout, a layoff, a heartbreak or something else that comes to challenge you at this time of year, I hope the awesome power of peace and joy reveals itself to you. Look for it. It is waiting to be found.

Merry Christmas.

Duct Tape & 18 gauge wire

It’ll take two weeks for my new glasses to arrive, and in the meantime, I’ve wired and duct-taped up my old frames. Yes, they look funny, and I get a good chuckle at myself when I put them on. They’ve become a social experiment for me. I leave them on when I go into the grocery store, or gas station, or wherever. The reactions are fairly predictable: my friends laugh and jab, but strangers take one look, and never make eye contact again. I have broken glasses – not leprosy! How many people in wheelchairs or with other visible differences experience similar reactions? Though I didn’t scientifically measure the results, my two week experiment was certainly enough time to ‘experience’ the awkwardness of people I encountered.

We have the ability to touch each other with our eyes every day – every time we look someone’s way. We’re all broken in someway or another – mostly on the inside. Today my challenge to you is another social experiment – never look away. Focus your ‘kind eyes’ on friends and strangers, especially if they’re ‘different’. Don’t just look at them – ‘see’ them – and take it to heart.

(By the way – I ordered new glasses online, progressive lenses and frames for a mere $66.00. Now we’re talking!)

Read Jackson Brown’s song lyrics: Doctor My Eyes

Peace

I would like to invite you to learn about “The Charter of Compassion”. This idea was conceived by author Karen Armstrong. She was the winner of the TED Prize in 2008 for her unparalleled expertise and wisdom regarding the three theistic faiths: Islam, Judaism, and Christianity, and their impact on the world today.

“The Charter will proclaim a principle embraced by every faith, and by every moral code. It is often referred to as The Golden Rule.”

On November 12th, 2009, the Charter of Compassion will be unveiled, unleashing a week of celebratory activities around the world – in places of religious worship, public spaces, schools, universities and workplaces. We are all invited to participate and spread the word. This could quite possibly be the greatest accomplishment of our generation, and we can be part of it.

“Compassion manifests itself in the world not by thinking but by doing.”

Let’s do something!

Nancy & the High Flyer

If ever there was a guaranteed recipe for feeling like a kid again, it’s this: sunshine, wind, and a colourful piece of nylon with strings attached. If you can find a sandy beach even better, but a big green meadow will work just as well. Stir up these ingredients and you’ll find yourself flying a kite and feeling like an eight year old. That’s probably just how old I was the last time I held the reigns of a kite, and it is as amazing to me now as it was then.

It wasn’t my idea to fly the kite. I would have been content to sit on my beach chair and catch rays all afternoon. My friend Chris, on the other hand, had the kite out of the package and in the air before setting up her chair! I was simply flabbergasted at how easily the kite propelled into the sky and danced effortlessly on the wind. I certainly don’t remember it being that simple to launch a kite when I was a kid. When it was my turn to take the reigns, all of my ‘adult’ inhibitions fell to the ground and I felt like it was me up there, soaring and swaying above the clouds. Quite simply, it was fun.

Riding High

So next time you’re feeling tired after a long day, or you need to release a little stress, consider taking the kite-flying challenge. You’ll be glad you did.

If you need more details on how to fly a kite, check out this step by step on eHow.

Strings Attached!

Garden Flowers in June

If my mother was alive, she’d be seventy-three years old. She’s been gone eight years, and I still miss her. The first few years after her death, I would visit her grave site often. Somehow it gave me comfort though I never understood why. I knew she wasn’t there. Perhaps seeing her name spelled out on the granite stone helped me believe it was real.

Though my stops at the cemetery are less frequent these days, the visits I have with my Mom still happen regularly. I hear her voice encouraging me when I’m feeling uncertain – especially when I’m trying to learn something new. Just as she had said in past, “don’t underestimate yourself”, and “you can do it” still help me to believe in my abilities. As I get older I realize just how special it was to hear those words from her. 

When my mother was diagnosed with cancer, it felt like our whole family got the disease too. The reality of her prognosis was devastating, but it also became an opportunity for all of us to savor the important things in life, like saying ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’. Today I send out birthday wishes to the Universe, along with a song that I gave to my Mom years ago to try and say how I felt – and still feel. It’s a Natalie Merchant song called “Kind and Generous”. Listen Now on Grooveshark. Read the lyrics here.

The Williamstown Fair, the oldest fair in the province of Ontario, is perhaps still my favourite of all time. It has thrill rides and great food, along with terrific entertainment (I have performed on the ‘Centre Stage’ many times), horse shows, antique machinery & car displays, highland dancing and caber tossing, and so much more. The vendors are always top notch – especially the Sign It Signs & Design booth where you’ll always see carving and painting demonstrations, and even get to try some of the techniques yourself!

Nancy Performs at RRWF

This year I’m being introduced to a new weekend event – The Red Roof Women’s Festival. I’ll be performing there on Sunday, July 19th along with other songwriters and performers who will be taking the stage all weekend. My sister-in-law Eileen will be accompanying me on viola for a few tunes too. And Isabel Designs will be setting up a booth! We’ve signed on to be vendors all weekend, bringing our creations ‘off-line’ so to speak. Maybe I’ll see you there! (You can hear some of my songs and get more info about my music here).

Another festival not to be missed in Eastern Ontario is Cornwall’s Lift Off Balloon Festival. The line up this year is incredible, including Amanda Marshall as the headliner, and my good friend Graham Greer as the opening act for her. 

There’s no excuse to stay home this summer. Get out and experience the local flavours of festivals and fairs in your neighbourhood!

Be Yourself - Click here for necklace details

Over the past couple of weeks I have chosen to embrace this word, and own it just like Maria did in The Sound of Music when she sings, “I have confidence in confidence alone”. Remarkably, as I claim this word, it pops up in conversation, in random thoughts, and yesterday it was the title of the chapter I was reading in Rhonda Britten’s book, “Change Your Life in 30 Days”. Coincidence? I don’t think so. I’ve expressed this need and desire to myself, and the universe is sending in reinforcements. Cool, eh?

Confidence is about being self-assured and having faith in ones abilities and it comes with some elements of risk. Because it is acquired through experience, you actually have to step out and practice doing the thing you’re afraid of in order to get confidence in the first place. If you’ve ever performed or made a presentation in front of an audience, you’ll probably agree that your first effort was accompanied by butterflies. But the second time you took the stage it was less frightening, and each time after that, the limelight felt more and more comfortable.

I am learning that confidence brings about empowerment; as I gain more experience, the fear and mystic that once confounded the activity is removed and I am free to express and explore with more autonomy. Today I found out that I was not selected for a festival I had applied to perform in. I am disappointed, and it’s funny how quick the old inner voice kicks in with vindication saying, “Well what did you expect? You’re just not good enough for this gig”. The good news is I caught myself in time to dodge the ‘bad language’ bullet and get back on track. I reminded myself of the many successes I’ve had in submitting for gigs and performances, and that many more opportunities await. Sometimes it’s about taking baby steps; every booking I get this year will lead to bigger and better gigs next year. Little by little, as I do the work, I am confident that my efforts will be rewarded.

I’ll leave you with more of Maria’s lyrics, and invite you to claim the word that will help you gain momentum in your life.

“And mind me with each step I am more certain
Everything will turn out fine
I have confidence the world can all be mine
They’ll have to agree I have confidence in me”

Nancy & Lauren

For me, the question isn’t so much about seeking out the next great thrill, – even though I still have a desire to bungee jump and sky dive – rather it’s about not standing still.  A couple of months ago I met a fellow songwriter at an afternoon workshop. She has a passion, energy and expertise  for the craft that is inspiring. (Check out Lauren Passarelli). Doing something for the first time can mean you have to step out of your comfort zone. In this case, I had to put my fear aside and ask Lauren if she would be interested in a collaboration. She said yes! We started working in the studio together to record one of my songs, and I believe there’ll be co-writing in our future as well. That’s momentum. 

So now I’ll ask you, “when is the last time you did something for the first time”? Maybe sharing a story in this blog will be your answer!

The bracelet my first boyfriend gave me after our first kiss, the keys to the car that declared my ‘roll down the window and crank up the music’ independence, and the love notes exchanged between me and my first true love, preserved in shoeboxes and Tim Horton cans, are evidence that I am a sentimental pack rat. I don’t apologize for hanging on to these things. They help me remember special moments in my life. They remind me that I was here. 

Sunflower Angel

Up until recently, I still had the big green trunk that my Dad passed on to me when I was thirteen. It held precious things like ticket stubs from concerts and movies, letters from high school friends and sweethearts, and the high-heeled pink shoes that my sister made me wear to her wedding. I also stored college art projects and theology essays, the ones that got A’s, so I could remember those achievements. It held photo albums filled with the escapades of friends that still make me laugh out loud when I look at them. The trunk was ruined in a basement flood a few years back, so I had no choice but to part with it and the majority of its contents. One starry summer evening, when the flames were burning high in a backyard campfire, I put the trunk in the fire, and ceremoniously gave its ashes to the wind. It was a good lesson for me to ‘let go’ of some of these old things. Let’s face it – I’ll never wear those pink shoes again!

Today I received an email that filled me with a sense of hope and newness. Today I witnessed a great blue heron walking along the water’s edge, and felt the morning sun flood its light on my face. These were not yesterday’s memories. This is my now. I know all these things will be added to my storehouse of treasures, to be called forth again when I need them, or least expect them, but living in the moment, feeling them for the first time over and over again, is really where it’s at. I am here.